Get Wasted. Get High. Wow, what a cool life.

I am currently blogginating from my new laptop gifted to me tonight at Year 13 Prizegiving. To be honest, I don't understand what the award was, but I'm grateful for it :) Haha.

School, for us in officially over. What a year it has been. It seems odd to me that we are referring to the year being 'over' when in actual fact it's still only the early stages of November. It's only really the end for school leavers. And even then it isn't, I mean, I'm not going to feel relieved until I walk out of that last exam, that dreaded Calculus exam... Oh the feeling, you know the feeling. The feeling knowing that after you walk out of the doors, you won't be coming back. No more worrying about studying, worrying about not studying and actually studying. No more practice exams, no textbooks or practice essays. It's just... all... over.

When that day, that moment comes, THEN and only THEN will I breathe in that last breath of Manurewa High School air and be relieved. Until then, bring on the stress! Hahaha.

I was flicking through one of our Year 13 Students' photos and saw nothing new. Nothing new at all. I'd like to say I was surprised, but I wasn't. "So-and-so has published new photos" *views, flicks through frame after frame of alcohol yielding teenagers, friends, cigarette-fogged pictures... just the same as the last photos*.

Geez I must really be missing out huh, I just envy the glazed look in his eyes, the look of no focus, of nothing. And how jealous I am of that girl passed out, cigarettes clutched in her nicotene stained fingers, Smirnoff close-at-hand. I mean, yeah, I'm really missing out, it just all looks so worth the fun, the hangover. I'm so uncool. Boo me.

(For those whose sarcasm radar isn't in tune, I was using sarcasm as a tool to put a different spin on my point.)

Forgive me for being a party pooper - actually, don't. I have no shame in being responsible, and I've been a party pooper all year, it was my job. Head Party Pooper. - but, when I see photos of you like that, it makes me sad. And annoyed. That you're so young and have already gotten into that scene. As if that's 'just what ya do' once you're old enough. And so the cycle begins again. Yipee. Yay us.

Everything is meaningless. A meaningless chasing of the wind. Ecclesiastes. It's says that aaaaall throughout the book Ecclesiastes. Check it out.

God thinks more of you. I think more of you.

D'you think doing 'things' like ^ that makes people think more of you?
More importantly, does it make you think more of you?

On the rocks, one more puff.

APPLEZ FOR KNOWLEDGE - Knowing nothing, knowing all.

how i wish you were here.

it is 12:09am and i should be in bed, but i must tell you about a man that we should all know, but sadly we don't.

i blog this to the background music 'Wish You Were Here' by Pink Floyd. i heard this for the first time tonight, over Skype. my daddio played it on the guitar to me... "wish you were here"... he's gone to bed now, so i compensate with the good old youtube version of the song. not as good, but good enough for now. while he's gone.

"how i wish you were here"

Dads.

A child's stability, foundation, solid ground, hiding place and refuge, warmth in the winter, light in the dark, comfort during sadness, Love.

A girl needs that man in her life, who will never leave her, who will be always with her and for her. Who will cheer her on at her games. Who will read her blogs. Who will video her music recitals and show it off. Who will tell her she is the most beautiful darling girl in the world. Who will make her feel special amongst so many special people. Who will accept her, no matter what she does... no matter who she wastes time on, or how. Who she knows she can always return to, however far she may stray.

and who will protect her from the men who don't do any of these things right.

Who will protect her from the men who don't do any of these things right?

A boy needs that man in their life, that will teach him how to make it in the cold cold world, who will video his game, or his tournament, or his dance, and show it off to the world. Who will teach him to have fun and make fun. Who will teach him to show emotion. Who will teach him that it is okay to not be okay. Who will teach him how to look after himself and his family. Who will teach him to throw a ball, or do an equation, or spell a word. Who will teach him to earn respect if he ever wants to gain it.

and Who will love him and not be too proud to show it.

Who will love him and not be too proud to show it?

Dads... where are you? you have a responsibility to him and to her.

She needs you and he needs you.

I need you.

I'm blessed, my dad is not here, but he tries.

i can't imagine how hard it is for those whose dad's don't.

"how i wish, i wish you were here"

ApplezForKnowledge - my dad, i love you.xx

his guitaring is sometimes the only thing that calms me in the middle of a hectic week, term, year, life.